I can not run.

So when Jason goes out for a jog it's usually 4-5 miles and that's just the warm up for his work out. I go out to the park to "run" and I make it one time around the track before I fall down from exhaustion. And I can guarantee that track isn't even a mile. I just can't do it. I don't have whatever it is inside me that can block the burning legs and the screaming lungs and go for miles on end. And trust me when I say that I only "run" in places where I know no one will see me...at least no one that knows me, because it is not a pretty site. I compare myself "running" to an old lady speed walker gone horribly wrong. My feet barely leave the pavement and my steps are inches from one another. It's like the opposite of the crazy Phoebe run...I move as little as possible to conserve what small amount of energy I have for such a torturous exercise.

You may be thinking, but Natalie why run at all when there are so many varieties of exercise out there. This I know, and I look and feel just as bad doing them all. I recently started Zumba after work. I was thinking I used to be an Irish Dancer, I have a fair grasp of a beat and can move my body, and not to toot my own horn, maybe even graceful. Oh no. I. Am. Not. Graceful. Awkward, yes. Gangly, yes. Tripping over my feet, oh hell yes. I've determined never again to actually look at myself in the mirror as I Zumba. I instead focus intently on the instructor thinking to myself, I'm totally doing what she's doing so I must look that good.

Please someone invent some sort of something that I can increase my heart rate and burn calories while not getting off the couch...that would be fantastic. I mean, I never saw Captain Picard or Number One running around a track, so there has to be something in the future that keeps us all fit and lean. Yes I am a nerd, thank you very much.

There is a Gus in my lap

He usually doesn't stray too far from a person to cuddle with.

Jason and I accidentally wore the same t-shirt today...we're matching. That's how we roll.

I'm playing on the new laptop...it's massive. I've asked Jason why he felt the need to get a 17'' screen. It was the same conversation we had when he brought home the flat screen TV, why did he feel the need to buy the 54'' screen.

So mom passed away almost two months ago, but I received a gift in the mail from her today. She never ceases to amaze me even in death. It's a heart necklace with a cross in the middle and on the back is poem about daughters being gifts and friends forever. I cried...profusely.

Still no word on the puppy or the Iraqi...but I'll keep you updated.

This used to be our blog

Maybe I'll start posting some blogs again, we shall see how it goes. Updates from the last year or so

1. We had to give Trevor back after only a few months, he was aggressive towards mom and her aides, and had some serious seperation anxiety resulting in him biting and chewing and causing damage to his little pug body. He's happily found a new home that loves and cares for him.


2. Mom passed away suddenly and unexpectedly on February 18th...something that a family can never fully recover from, but each day the pain and the sadness lessens.


3. Jason regularly jumps out of airplanes for the army now...he makes sure to text me immediately after landing so that I know he's not a human pancake


4. I got a promotion, it was an offer that I couldn't refuse. Whether that was the best decision for me still remains to be seen.


5. My relationship with my estranged father is slightly less estranged. He comes to church with us sometimes. It's baby steps.


6. Jason will graduate from his MBA program with a focus in Project Management in December of this year...he's looking for a job if anyone out there is hiring.


7. There's a very good chance that we will adopt a puppy named Otis. We happened to be driving down the street and saw a litter of puppies hanging out in someone's front yard. The most natural thing to do of course is to immediately stop, say hi to all the puppies, and inquire after their "for-sale" status. You can't say no to puppy breath.


8. We shall in the next few months have an Iraqi living in our basement. Not so sure how to feel about that one.


9. I've been desperately trying to convince Jason to take me on a vacation. We haven't been anywhere, with no other purpose than relaxing, since he came back from Iraq.


10. Jason currently works part time at Home Depot in the paint department while he works his way through school...interesting.


11. My shoe collection has grown approximately 20% since the last blog post.


12. I'm still trying to convince Jason that "what I need" to cope with my grief is of course another pair of shoes.


13. My all time favorite book "Water for Elephants" has been made into a movie coming out April 22nd. I'm very excited, and highly recommend the book.


14. My cute little one year old computer has decided to implode...it needs a new motherboard...I didn't buy the extended warranty...I'm very upset...and I can't access Facebook. Sorry Facebook.

The End.