While Jason is away...

...Natalie will dress up her dog



Awww doesn't he look cute! He's supporting his daddy!


...Natalie will karaoke





Ok, so I didn't actually sing...but I was there to support Bethany, Amanda, Chad and Drew!




See there I am.


...Natalie will take Gus to the Cincinnati Pug Meetup



Holy Smooshed Face, Batman...that's a lot of pugs!

And one super fat pug in particular caught my eye. This is Pugsley



He has fat rolls on his legs! Fat Roll Enhance!



I really had a hard time not chasing this pug around the park pinching his fat rolls.

...And Natalie will pamper herself just a little



I got my nails done



And of course my toenails too.

Puggy Gus says, "what else is Natalie going to do while Jason is away???"


I dont know Mr. Gus

What else should I do?

Mardi Gras - Part 3

Some of the most popular attractions during Mardi Gras are the parades. They range from massive professionally organized parades with insane floats, marching bands, and more beads than the human neck can hold, to rednecks on the back of pickup trucks.

Here's one of those crazy professional floats

Here's our necks breaking under all those beads. I promise no tatas were flashed in the catching of these beads.

Here's what we did in between crazy floats and catching beads

Mom Hoyt with a beer!? WHAT!? Mom Hoyt doesn't drink. That's like my hubby telling me it would be ok to flash for beads or us stealing a plastic sword off of some guys shopping cart.

Oh wait...

Just so everyone knows that sword fell off the cart...it was totally fair game. And it came in super handy for snagging those hard to reach beads. Oh that guy on the far right...some drunk dude that jumped in our picture. He was a happy drunk though so we let it slide. It certainly wasn't the last time this happened either. There were A LOT of drunk people.

I have absolutely no idea who this dude is. But the conversation went something like this:

Drunk Dude, "Hey I hope this doesn't show up on Facebook, dude"

Jason, "Drunk Dude, this is so going up on Facebook...Say Cheese."

If anyone is paying close attention to the above picture you will notice we are under the Pat O'brian's sign on Burbon street. You have to visit Bourbon street during Mardi Gras....it's like a law or something. There's plenty of boobies to entertain the guys and even more freaks of nature to entertain everyone who's not looking at the boobies.

Example #1

Can someone please explain to me what rainbow lady is wearing, or why we Hoyt's thought it would be a good idea to get close enough to touch these people? I feel dirty.

Example #2

Honestly people? Men prettier than women. How can you possibly find anything prettier than those three lovely ladies underneath that sign. We just proved you wrong Female Impersonators!

But of course no trip to the French Quarter is complete until you visit Cafe Du Monde. They're famous for their beignets. It's a French word people, for the love of jebus do not pronounce the "g" or the "t". Granted it's a fancy French word for fried dough. I'm sorry New Orlean's natives but you will just have to come to terms with the fact they are indeed little squares of fried doughy goodness covered in a mound of powdered sugar. Anyway, if you're in New Orleans visiting the French Quarter check it out...just make sure you pronounce beignets correctly or face the scorn and ridicule of those around you.

Mmmmmm....fried doughy goodness...

Fun times at Ft. McCoy

Hello all from beautiful sunny Ft. McCoy, Wisconsin. Though I can't find the font "sarcasm" in the blog options, just pretend that last sentence utilized that font. We have been here for a week and a half now and have yet to go outside w/o wearing our cold weather gear. Leave it to the Army to have us train for the scorching desert environment mere miles from Canada. I mean, I guess when you take into account the lack of options in climate zones because we live in such a small country it only makes sense (sarcasm font here too). But really, for those who know how much I love cold, you can imagine how happy I am.


Anyhow - all is not horrible. At least we are spending our outdoors time shooting plastic bad guys with some pretty kick *ss weaponry. So far we've fired the 4 primary light machine guns the Army uses (240B, 249 SAW, MK-19 and M2). Personally - most of us seriously favor the M2 - more affectionately known as the "Ma - Deuce".





The M2 is a .50 caliber fully automatic machine gun originally built in the 50s and still quite popular today. While quite the heavy weapon at over 100lbs. it will throw chunks of lead half an inch in diameter and about 3 inches long over 2 miles at between 60-100 rounds a minute. The slightly slower rate of fire also gives it a very distinct sound.


While I'm busy showing photos, let me also introduce you to members of my 5 person team. Below is the brand spanking new Lieutenant that I have. She's been out of college and in the Army for all of about 16 months. The role she's filling is supposed to be for a Major with about 15 or so years in the military. This situation could go either way at this point and I'm still forming my opinion. But at least for starters she seems motivated and intelligent. And it appears that someone has explained to her somewhere along the line that even if a Sergeant First Class has to salute you - it doesn't mean that he doesn't know more than you does.





Next on the list is my trusty brand new "buck" Sergeant (three stripes up, none down). He's a really good guy who decided when they raised the enlistment age to 41 that he should go ahead and sign up since they probably wouldn't raise it again. He's definitely older than most soldiers his rank...but most soldiers his rank don't have three degrees, including an engineering degree from Illinois Institute of Technology. He's extremely motivated and highly mature and squared away. I took on two very "new to the Army" soldiers so even though he doesn't have deployment experience, I'm still quite happy to have him on my team.







Oh - two notes: In photo 1 it's fake blood from a medical training event, but I needed something like a decent face shot. In photo two he's assistant gunner (loading bullets) for the private on my team who is firing the 240B Machine gun. Which leads me to.....my Private First Class:





She's also a fairly new soldier in the Army but again intelligent and motivated...just extremely young so there's definitely a maturity curve to work with. Imagine taking a high school freshman to war with you. She graduated High School a semester early and joined the Army Reserves at 17 years old and got her supply specialty. When this came up she volunteered for the deployment and went to CA school on short notice so that she could make the team.

Having said all that...it makes me think of the argument for a lowered drinking age in the military. I'm taking an 18 year old soldier to a combat zone and expecting her to watch my back just as much as she expects me to lead them in and out of dangerous locations and to have done enough planning to mitigate that threat as much as possible. She's qualified to carry the M-16/M-4 rifle, 9mm pistol, M2 and 240B machine gun, and will likely be our primary driver which would require her to drive under conditions that few who have never been in a combat zone can possibly imagine. However when we go out for a beer at the club on post - all she can have is soda and water. There are plenty of folks over 21 who still can't drink responsibly...but I'm sure that she could.

The last member of our team is still on his way back from Kosovo and will meet up with us later on down the road, most likely next month. The team is a bit short on experience, but then again that's why I have them. Some would refer to it as "performance punishment" for being good at my job...I consider it a privilege and a heavy responsibility at the same time. No one here gets a "dream team" to go over with and each team has it's own individual strengths and weaknesses...just like any other team in the world. But I will say this - inexperience is rapidly compensated for on a deployment because you're immersed in it. Incompetence is not easily remedied and is what usually costs lives - and that's why I feel pretty darn good about my team just the way it is.

Well - sorry for the long post but just wanted to give you an idea of how things are going and introduce you to my team. Now the laundry is done and time to fold and go have a beer. I'll catch up with all of you later.

Newest Family Member

We've already introduced everyone to our happy little family

Mr. Sammy



And Mr. Edgar, the fruitcake



But about three weeks ago we decided to expand our family. I give you Mr. Gus the Pug

He came to us from the Ohio Pug Rescue. The rescue apparently saved him from a puppy mill where he was locked up in a cage and used as a stud dog to breed puppies. This little puggy is the sweetest, happiest, most loving little pug I've ever met. I can't imagine how someone could be so cruel to such an innocent animal.

His foster mommy at the rescue felt the same way...so she gave him lot's of love and lot's of food. So now I have a chunky monkey puggy on my hands.

Jason and I had debated for months before finally deciding to get another dog, and I had always wanted a pug! The decision to go to a rescue was an easy one. Literally millions of animals are surrendered to shelters or dumped on the streets. All three of our doggies were rescued, and I would strongly recommend it to anyone who is looking for a dog.

Top Ten Reason to Consider a Rescue

Granted the first week of Gus being with us was very difficult. He was marking everything in the house, and he was very possessive of his little Ohio State University stuffed bulldog. But pack mentality and patience prevailed, and just three short weeks later he's sitting for his food, sleeping through the night, and pottying outside! I have totally and completely fallen in love with this little dog! He may snore, and he may make a lot of noises when he's happy. Not to mention the bad breath and gas. But his warm little belly and cute tiny puppy paws totally make up for it. So I'll leave you with this parting word of advice from the wonderful Bob Barker, "Help control the pet population; have your pet spayed or neutered."

Planes, Hotels and Automobiles - Mardi Gras Part 2

Ok, so maybe it's been awhile since the last post, there's been a lot going on. But let's get back to the fun that was Mardi Gras.

When we got to New Orleans the rental agency let us choose our own car. I of course took this to mean I should find the ugliest damn thing on the road.

And I give you...The Mardi Gras Party Bus!



Our first night we stayed here



Not a shabby place, but good heavens the other people staying there were loud and obnoxious. Not only could we hear every argument the crazy couple next to us were having, but their 25 children that they stuffed into that one room kept running in and out slamming the door and screaming at each other. So Jason made an executive decision. Since this was his last hurrah and we were on vacation we decided to stay here.



A nice little three star hotel in downtown New Orleans. Granted we had to walk everywhere we went because the streets were closed for the parades, but holy crap that was best nights sleep I ever had. And bonus, no screaming children or their parents.



The Hoyt's took a road trip to a little restaurant north of Lake Pontchartrain. Unfortunatly the Party Bus didn't have that big of a back seat. These are the female Hoyt sardines.



We met up with the rest of the Hoyt clan who partook in a whole lot of raw oysters. I have to admit something. I hate seafood. I hate the smell of seafood, I hate the look of seafood. Being around massive amounts of raw oysters and boiled crawfish turns my stomach. So needless to say being surrounded by the ten other Hoyt's that were slurping down raw, grey, slimy, disgusting-ness wasn't the most pleasant experience in the world. My hubby on the other hand was in freakin' heaven.



Oh yeah.



Gross. Gross. Gross.

But at least the view was beautiful



Aren't we cute?



Next post will be all about the fabulous parade debauchery! Here's a little taste of posts to come. What does a girl have to do for these beads?

Planes, Hotels, and Automobiles - Mardi Gras Part I

So this past weekend Natalie and I took off to New Orleans to visit family and to have one last round of all the seafood I could eat before the deployment. My goal when I'm in New Orleans is to eat absolutely nothing that walked before it died. I did have a moment of weakness this time around though as I ate some Burger King after 4 hours at the Rex parade...what can I say, we were all starving and in a hurry to get my sister to the airport. However I have apologized to the powers that be (the gods which provide the bounty of the Gulf of Mexico) and we have agreed to put this incident behind us.

I digress though - this installment will be about our transportation to New Orleans. How exciting can airplane flights be? Well - probably not as entertaining as Part II in this series - but it did have it's moments and I'll do my best I promise. After all, anyone who knows airline efficiency and the unparalleled abilities of TSA to keep our skies safe knows that there has to be something to talk about.

Well, for starters, let me share that Cincinnati is the most expensive airport in the U.S. I'm not just saying this - it's the truth. So instead of paying almost $500 per ticket we drove the hour and a half to Indianapolis for $300 a ticket round trip. After checking in at the front counter and having some breakfast we dutifully made our way to the TSA security screening checkpoint. Now I honestly regard TSA as nothing more than a form of work welfare for those who can't seem to get a job as an honest mall cop (I turned down a job at O'Hare to work for Concordia after all). But that's not just an uninformed opinion, proof, more proof, and even more proof abounds. But if all those hyperlinks aren't enough (I'm getting good at this Internet thingy) here's more first hand proof.

After performing the obligatory strip tease for the energetic and intelligent looking TSA officers and placing half our clothing in handy never sanitized bins we loaded everything on the conveyor so that we can pretend they are scanning for weapons, bottle openers, Swiss army knives, and other instruments of mass destruction. Honestly, I always just kind of figured they were watching soap operas on that TV screen but I was apparently wrong this time. The polite lady informed me she wanted to take an extra close look at my carry on suitcase. After advising me to not attempt to touch my bag or approach the screening table (heaven forbid I put down my coffee to show her the time bomb and save her the trouble) she opened the bag and pulled out what I was praying they wouldn't find......





That's right - an ominous miniature fake Christmas tree packaged with miniature Disney themed ornaments. Yes - the next great addition to the terrorist toolkit - "The Happiest Place on Earth" in a tube.




OK - first, it's a late Christmas present for my sister who kept not returning my phone calls so I didn't have her address to mail it before this Christmas. And I will freely admit that if the agents were really looking at an X-ray scan of my bag then maybe a cylindrical tube with what appears to be multiple wires inside may seem a bit ominous. And the kind TSA lady dutifully rubbed it all over (I was kind of jealous of Mickey really) with the bomb sniffing cloth and then ran the tube through the X-ray again by itself before returning it to my suitcase.

What makes this whole event reinforce everything I believe about TSA is the fact that I DO make it a point to always travel with at least one prohibited item. Maybe it's an aerosol can of shaving cream, maybe a small pocket knife, maybe even an extra large Sharpie marker if that's the menace of the season for TSA. In this case they totally and completely whiffed on the lighter that was in my laptop bag. So yes America - rest soundly as your Government sponsored security is aware of menacing seasonal decorations in the skies. Now pardon me while I just clean up these frayed ends on my shoe strings.

Now once we got to the plane our first leg of the flight was fine and on-time. However once we got to our gate in Memphis I realized that the seats assigned to Natalie and I were not even together. Forget that when I ordered the tickets I specifically requested, by row and seat, the front two seats on the plane. The website even showed open seats vs. filled seats. Now when the lady on the phone asks "window or aisle seat" I usually just laugh because the only time I got an aisle seat was when I jokingly asked for a window in an attempt at "reverse logic". But when I can click on the seats I want, I have to admit that an expectation has been set. But all was not to be lost. When at the airport I always use my military ID to travel and always keep it and my boarding passes together in my pocket. The ID used to get me out of any random screenings and even though that policy is gone (too many terrorists with military IDs getting on planes I guess) one can always hope for the best. Well when I approached the lady at the gate and informed her of my seating dilemma I still had my ID in my hand from when I had pulled the boarding passes out of my pocket. The nice lady asked me to standby while all the passengers loaded and then she'd see what was available. Well after everyone else was comfortably seated (which means that I didn't have to stand in line while idiots learned that their "carry on bag" won't fit in the overhead compartment) the nice lady called for Natalie and I and gave us new tickets for......




FIRST CLASS BABY!!!! That's right - I had a real coffee mug, Natalie had a real glass, and we had a choice between THREE different snacks!!! Oh, and the seats were much more comfortable too.

In closing I will say that the past few years have really taken the fun out of airline travel. More cramped seats, charges for baggage, "requested seats" never coming through, delayed flights, lost luggage, etc. That being said - this trip we flew Northwest Airlines. All things being the same - ALL FOUR OF OUR FLIGHTS WERE ON-TIME!!!! It could have been a fluke, it could have been because we didn't utilize O'Hare airport, or it could have been because they are a decent airline. Who knows...but figured I'd end this instalment on a happy note.

Have a great day - and hopefully some Mardi Gras pictures before Monday.

The Hoyt Family

Here we are on our wedding day. I'm not really a fan of this picutre, it shows how much taller I am than my hubby.


This is my wonderful husband

He rocks.


Occasionally he does strange things like pirating cargo ships off the Somali coast.



He's a sucker for a cute dog.


This is mom's leg. Oh - and our cute dog, Sammy. He doesn't have a whole lot of fur, so I crocheted him a sweater.


Sammy lays down like this a lot. I've never quite understood why...it doesn't really look comfortable. I think he looks like a frog.


Here's a close up.

This is my other cute dog Edgar. We call him our fruitcake. Sometimes he forgets to breath. He's special like that.


So we bought two cages for our dogs. A large one for the large dog, and small one for the small dog. But for some reason our large dog likes the small cage. Isn't he so proper with his little dainty paws hanging over the side? Again, this does not look comfortable.

Like I said, Fruitcake.

Sometimes we have a third dog. This is Beatrice, she belongs to my parents, but likes to come visit Sammy and Edgar.

Her and Sammy are best friends.


This is me. If I look tired, it's because I am. Maybe next time I'll put some makeup on.

This is our happy little family, my husband, me and our furry little children.